It's been more than six months since I posted to my "Breast Cancer Journey." So what is the explanation? Truthfully, I've been struggling with a mild depression. It's been hard for me to define much less explain it to myself. It wasn't like I didn't try to understand it -- it seemed like I couldn't think of much else. So here is what I know:
- I worry about my health (although most of the time it's for no identifiable reason).
- I worry about my lack of motivation. I'm coming up on four years since my major chest reconstruction and sometimes feel like I'm not taking full advantage of the additional life I've been given.
- I worry about my husband. In May, Bill celebrated his 88th birthday. He is amazing but is coping with depression himself and some physical and mental limitations.
- We had to put Adie down in May when she was becoming increasingly disabled with Cushing's disease. It was becoming very difficult for her to walk and she seemed to have some pain. We both miss her so much and wonder if we let her go too soon. It's so hard.
So what has given me joy?
- I truly value all of my family. On the 4th of July, my brother, Dan, and his wife, Carol invited everyone who was available to a picnic at their house. Their son and daughter-in-law, Chris and Sarah, were going to be in town. With few exceptions, we were able to make it. Here is a picture of the group.
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| Credit: Mark Jones |
- My daughter, Liz, son-in-law, Roland, and grandsons, Ian, Andrew and Nathan are a constant source of joy. I am so proud of all of their accomplishments. I don't know how they do all that they do. My daughter, against my initial concerns, is more than half-way through an Executive MBA program at Ohio State, in addition to keeping up with her full-time job and schedules of her three sons. Roland, too, has risen to the challenge despite all of his job responsibilities. Ian, now 16, is driving. It is a whirlwind.
- I have really enjoyed reading. My Kindle is my life. I have read so many books from so many genres over the last six months. They've truly expanded my world.
Part of the reason I write this blog is so that my grandchildren will have a clue as to who I was. Anyone who knows me knows that I am somewhat of a "political junkie" and openly admit that I consume way too much news. I know it impacts my mood, and not in a good way. My friends and family know my political views. I try to respect and listen to those whose views differ from mine. But I recently had a revelation. You may choose to stop reading now, but I want my grandchildren to know my authentic self. So if you continue reading, you've been warned.
My Latest Revelation
Within a couple of days, she had garnered so much support that no one would dare challenge her. Her first task was to choose a running mate. She chose a little known Governor of Minnesota, Tim Walz. Tim is SOOO middle class. In addition to being a high school teacher and coach, he and his teacher wife had to resort to using IVF to become parents of a boy and a girl. He also served in the Army Reserve for 24 years, got elected to Congress serving for 10 years before running for Governor. The bottom line is, the two of them have brought "joy" back into politics.
Within a few short days, I realized that was what was missing -- JOY!!! And it seems as if the whole world was in a funk and didn't know why. Now we do. And now we have HOPE that we won't have to live through another four years of Trump.
I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to pray for our country and do everything I can to be hopeful for peace and recovery within our country.
Sincerely,
Kathy Reed
Grandma
