January 7th to August 11th, 2024 - On the Record

It's been more than six months since I posted to my "Breast Cancer Journey." So what is the explanation? Truthfully, I've been struggling with a mild depression. It's been hard for me to define much less explain it to myself. It wasn't like I didn't try to understand it -- it seemed like I couldn't think of much else. So here is what I know:

• I worry about my health (although most of the time it's for no identifiable reason).
• I worry about my lack of motivation. I'm coming up on four years since my major chest reconstruction and sometimes feel like I'm not taking full advantage of the additional life I've been given.
• I worry about my husband. In May, Bill celebrated his 88th birthday. He is amazing but is coping with depression himself and some physical and mental limitations.
• We had to put Adie down in May when she was becoming increasingly disabled with Cushing's disease. It was becoming very difficult for her to walk and she seemed to have some pain. We both miss her so much and wonder if we let her go too soon. It's so hard.

So what has given me joy?

• I truly value all of my family. On the 4th of July, my brother, Dan, and his wife, Carol invited everyone who was available to a picnic at their house. Their son and daughter-in-law, Chris and Sarah, were going to be in town. With few exceptions, we were able to make it. Here is a picture of the group.

Credit: Mark Jones

• My daughter, Liz, son-in-law, Roland, and grandsons, Ian, Andrew and Nathan are a constant source of joy. I am so proud of all of their accomplishments. I don't know how they do all that they do. My daughter, against my initial concerns, is more than half-way through an Executive MBA program at Ohio State, in addition to keeping up with her full-time job and schedules of her three sons. Roland, too, has risen to the challenge despite all of his job responsibilities. Ian, now 16, is driving. It is a whirlwind.

• I have really enjoyed reading. My Kindle is my life. I have read so many books from so many genres over the last six months. They've truly expanded my world.

Part of the reason I write this blog is so that my grandchildren will have a clue as to who I was. Anyone who knows me knows that I am somewhat of a "political junkie" and openly admit that I consume way too much news. I know it impacts my mood, and not in a good way. My friends and family know my political views. I try to respect and listen to those whose views differ from mine. But I recently had a revelation. You may choose to stop reading now, but I want my grandchildren to know my authentic self. So if you continue reading, you've been warned.

My Latest Revelation

We are 85 days away from the Presidential Election. I have been a supporter of President Biden and his administration. However, living through the aging process myself, I was becoming increasingly concerned about Biden's ability to serve four more years. Then the whole country was subjected to about three weeks of uncertainty as politician after politician tried to convince Joe Biden to drop out of the race. Behind the scenes, other politicians were trying to figure out who could run in his place. Several were personally trying to "go around" Kamala Harris because, as we all know, it's difficult for any woman, much less a woman of color, to break through in this society. But Joe came out in support of his Vice-President, Kamala Harris, as his successor.

Within a couple of days, she had garnered so much support that no one would dare challenge her. Her first task was to choose a running mate. She chose a little known Governor of Minnesota, Tim Walz. Tim is SOOO middle class. In addition to being a high school teacher and coach, he and his teacher wife had to resort to using IVF to become parents of a boy and a girl. He also served in the Army Reserve for 24 years, got elected to Congress serving for 10 years before running for Governor. The bottom line is, the two of them have brought "joy" back into politics.

Within a few short days, I realized that was what was missing -- JOY!!! And it seems as if the whole world was in a funk and didn't know why. Now we do. And now we have HOPE that we won't have to live through another four years of Trump. 

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to pray for our country and do everything I can to be hopeful for peace and recovery within our country.

Sincerely,

Kathy Reed

Grandma

Being in the Minority

Two days ago on November 6, 2012 our country had an election. It was difficult for all concerned. I happen to be in the clear minority in my family. My friends, on the other hand, are pretty evenly split. The last couple of years have been pretty toxic, with horrible personal attacks being leveled against both candidates. Living in the swing state of Ohio, we all were bombarded by political ads that were filled with half-truths designed to confuse the average citizen.

I'll admit it -- I am a news junkie.  I watch far too much television and pay attention to politics.  But what I didn't expect this year was the impact that social media would have on this election. It felt like a Civil War. Families and friends were divided and feelings were hurt. One of my brothers even "unfriended" me on facebook because of a political comment that I think went too far and told him so.

Here are some samples of my facebook stream:

The implication of these two posts is that one candidate is a Man of God, and that the other lacks character, civility and respect. These next two posts reflect how family members stopped speaking with family members and friends lost friends.

I read several discussions where parents weren't speaking to children, siblings were not speaking to siblings, etc. I'm sensitive. It hurt me to read that we had descended to this level.

During the past few months, I've been able to have civil conversations with three people who disagree with me politically. It was real pleasure for me to hear their points of view and for them to hear mine. In all three cases, there were several areas of agreement on the issues. In all cases there were "deal breakers" where each of us could not compromise our belief. Among these issues were: abortion, the debt, birth control, health care and how much of a role government should play in our lives. 

I will tell you my deal breakers. I feel STRONGLY that in the richest country in the world, every person should have access to health insurance. When I defend this position, I point out that many Americans are uninsurable due to health issues. I know so many people who fit in this category. I am uninsurable, my husband is uninsurable, a niece who had a brain tumor at age 14 is uninsurable. If you've had a heart attack, cancer or orthopedic surgery, you're uninsurable.  The ONLY reason I've been able to be insured is because  I could participate in group insurance through my employer. Many people are not in the same boat. When I point out that there are many Americans who cannot buy insurance at any cost, even if they have the financial resources to do it, my Republican friends agree that everyone should be able to buy insurance (even if they don't support providing health insurance to the poor, etc.). However, they don't want to visualize that it could happen to them. One person I know owns his own business and is self-insured. He is against "Obamacare." When he developed cancer, he called to find out when the provision would kick in that would prevent his insurance company being able to cancel his insurance. He is not part of a "group" and would, in all probability, be unable to acquire new insurance with this preexisting condition.

My second deal-breaker has to do with abortion and birth control. I've known people who've experienced an ectopic pregnancy and other tragic circumstances that might make an abortion the only realistic option. I  think this is a complex issue that should not be decided by a panel of men who will never have to face the decision of saving their own life.The Republican PLATFORM is so extreme that it could be interpreted to deny access to birth control, the ability of couples to have children through in vitro fertilization, etc. I'm often told that most Republicans are not extreme on this position, but many are. They have frequently promoted "personhood" amendments and the platform does not allow for any exceptions, including rape and incest.

I also believe in science. I know evolution is a FACT. I do not believe that the Bible should be taken literally. I believe in climate change and feel strongly about environmental issues. I believe in religious tolerance and tolerance generally. I hate war and tend to be a pacifist.

I revealed in a previous post that at one time I was a very religious person and wanted to be a nun. I think my attitude towards social issues was formed back then. Nuns tend to have the attitude that "we're all in this together" vs. "you're on your own." They try to develop community. (I guess you could say they are socialists). This does not mean that I don't believe in personal responsibility. After all, I'm a Jones -- we ALL believe in personal responsibility.

So, yes, I voted for President Obama to have a second term. And although I've spent several months feeling like I'm in the minority, apparently I'm not. I'm hoping 2013 is a year in which people from both "sides" make a commitment to work together for the benefit of the country we ALL love.

Note: I wrote this post because I want my descendants to understand who I was. Too often, I think we as genealogists, tend to tell everyone else's story and neglect our own.