It's been more than six months since I posted to my "Breast Cancer Journey." So what is the explanation? Truthfully, I've been struggling with a mild depression. It's been hard for me to define much less explain it to myself. It wasn't like I didn't try to understand it -- it seemed like I couldn't think of much else. So here is what I know:
- I worry about my health (although most of the time it's for no identifiable reason).
- I worry about my lack of motivation. I'm coming up on four years since my major chest reconstruction and sometimes feel like I'm not taking full advantage of the additional life I've been given.
- I worry about my husband. In May, Bill celebrated his 88th birthday. He is amazing but is coping with depression himself and some physical and mental limitations.
- We had to put Adie down in May when she was becoming increasingly disabled with Cushing's disease. It was becoming very difficult for her to walk and she seemed to have some pain. We both miss her so much and wonder if we let her go too soon. It's so hard.
- I truly value all of my family. On the 4th of July, my brother, Dan, and his wife, Carol invited everyone who was available to a picnic at their house. Their son and daughter-in-law, Chris and Sarah, were going to be in town. With few exceptions, we were able to make it. Here is a picture of the group.
Credit: Mark Jones |
- My daughter, Liz, son-in-law, Roland, and grandsons, Ian, Andrew and Nathan are a constant source of joy. I am so proud of all of their accomplishments. I don't know how they do all that they do. My daughter, against my initial concerns, is more than half-way through an Executive MBA program at Ohio State, in addition to keeping up with her full-time job and schedules of her three sons. Roland, too, has risen to the challenge despite all of his job responsibilities. Ian, now 16, is driving. It is a whirlwind.
- I have really enjoyed reading. My Kindle is my life. I have read so many books from so many genres over the last six months. They've truly expanded my world.