July 17th - The 100th Anniversary of My Mom's Birth

 

It's been a tough day!

I'll be honest. I've been on the verge of tears all day. It's my Mom's birthday anniversary. She would have been 100 years old. We were really close my whole life, and today I miss her. I wish I had been able to talk to her more about her cancer experience. She always seemed to take it in stride. 

In about September or October of the year before she died, my mother knew that her breast cancer had returned. She lost about 35 pounds in two months. Sixteen years before, her doctors had predicted that she had about nine months. Sixteen years and two husbands later (my Dad died at the young age of 57 of cancer), my mother was sure she was having a recurrence. Multiple scans and tests could not confirm it. Fun Fact: It takes about one billion cancer cells to form a 1 cm lump that can be detected by most of our technology. https://tinyurl.com/4hp4ntdj See paragraph 7. When she was finally diagnosed, it was in her brain, stomach and bones. One of my surgeons explained to me that I, too, could have cancer throughout my body that is not yet detectable. Who knew?

By December, there was no longer any doubt. My mother asked me to come to her house and help her label some of her things for distribution among my siblings following her death. I have five brothers, so you can imagine there weren't going to be a lot of things they would want. For instance, I doubted they wanted one of her many dolls. While we were working, I expressed my feeling that her husband would be reluctant to do "what she wanted" because he would want to her to hang in there and I knew she valued quality of life. She said he would respect her wishes. I won't go in to detail, but suffice it to say, that I think she was "tortured" her last few weeks of life.  As things progressed, she said she didn't want a feeding tube, but he overame her reluctance. (It is because of my first-hand observation of her quality of life post-feeding tube, that I've had it put in my medical record that I do not want one).

I remember one of the last real conversations we had. I was scheduled to go to Wyoming for a two-week science course in July and was debating whether or not I should withdraw. She asked me when it was. When I gave her the dates, she said there would be no problem "as it all will be over by then." She died on June 28th.

My stepfather tried to limit our visits. I think it was because we had accepted her eventual death and wanted it to be as comfortable as possible. He had lost his first wife to cancer and felt that perhaps he had not done everything possible to save her. He wasn't making that mistake again. If I'm honest, part of me was grateful because I really didn't want to be too involved in the every day dying process. But now I wish we could have a conversation. How did she maintain her overall positive attitude up to the end? How could she think of others needs (like my desire to take a course) when she KNEW she would die soon? 

Sometimes, it is the happy thoughts that bring tears to my eyes. About 8 months ago, my cousin Jim Ryan and his wife Karen, digitzed their old family movies. They shared one with me from 1948. It had been filmed by Mom's brother, Jim, who is featured at the end of the clip. My Mom and Dad were newlyweds. As I was born in April 1949 and the movie was shot in August, I was probably conceived that month. Here is a link to a one-minute movie of my Mom in front of their apartment, At that time, life was very exciting, with all of the possibilities of their lives before them. 

Click on this link for video: https://youtu.be/ReFMiGF-_Gg

Mom, thinking of you today. Hope you are thinking of me. I need some advice.

Kath

July 11th - The Dreaded Health Update

 

Background

In June I was scheduled for both a bone scan and a CT scan to assess if my treatment plan needed to be adjusted.

The bone scan did not appear to have significant changes. The major difference is that previous reports did not mention "faint uptake in the medial left clavicle."

Next up was the CT scan. This wasn't quite as optimistic.

In previous studies, the radiologists have mentioned how difficult it can be to measure the "soft tissue mass." However, the radiologist noted that the mass had increased in measurement by 3 mm. Of more concern to me was the second sentence which noted that the mass "appears to extend through the chest wall and into the pleural space and is suggestive of invasive neoplastic process." He also noted that there was "worsening of the underlying pleural" and "extensive intrathoracic involvement." Here is a comparison of the March and June images:

My daughter, Liz, accompanied me to the followup appointment. The weekend before, I had my 70-pound bike fall on me as I tried to dismount. I tried to break the fall with my arm and had experienced a fair amount of pain over the following couple of days. This, in combination with the falls I had on our bike trip led my doctor to suggest that I no longer ride. I felt like crying.

She also ordered up an immediate brain MRI to see if the cancer had metastasized to my brain. Thankfully, it had not. However, the report did note "moderate chronic small vessel ischemic white matter disease." My limited reasearch indicated that this can contribute to balance issues in older adults." If I'm honest with myself, I know my balance is not quite what it used to be.

After reviewing these results, my doctor suggested that I consider taking Ibrance at a lower dose. She had a nurse educator call me. Among the side effects she mentioned were impacts on white blood, hemoglobin and platelet counts. You are more susceptible to infection and I'm to call if my temperature exceeds 104. It can lead to increased fatigue and poorer liver function which they will monitor carefully. In rare cases, the medication can lead to interstitial lung disease.

I had previously refused this medication because it is similar to Verzenio which I stopped due to side effects. I am stressed about what to do, although I said I would "try" it and see. Now I'm second-guessing this.

So there you have it. I think I'll let my mind travel back to Canada. Here is one of my favorite pictures from that trip.

Peace to all who are sharing in my journey. I appreciate you.

Kathy

June 3rd to July 10th - Vacation in Seattle and the Canadian Rockies

 

We decided to take one final "big" trip. It was difficult to plan because we had a lot of criteria:

• We wanted to limit the amount of walking we had to do.
• It had to be largely planned by someone other than us.
• We wanted to limit our Covid exposure as much as possible.   

We decided to travel to Seattle for a couple of days and then travel to Vancouver, British Columbia to take the Rocky Mountaineer train. For those who are unaware, the Rocky Mountaineer is a daytime only train with a choice of four routes. Nights are spent in hotels arranged by the tour operators. Luggage is transported to each hotel and is in your room when you arrive. 

We wanted to go to Seattle to visit the Rad Showroom, the maker of our ebikes. Luckily for me, there were no new models that I lusted after. I came away quite satisfied with the bike I have. We took the ferry over to Bainbridge on a beautiful day and were able to get beautiful shots of Mt. Ranier. On previous trips, we faced rain and fog which made pictures of Mt. Ranier impossible.

After a short visit in Vancouver, we took a taxi to the Rocky Mountaineer train station and prepared for our adventure.

I can't recommend this trip highly enough. I have more than 300 pictures. Hopefully, these will give you a feel for the experience. 

The area just outside Vancouver was very green. Referred to as the Frasier River Basin, snow melt from the mountains formed very fast currents in the valley. The area has experienced warmer than usual temperatures.

The next ecosystem was a dry desert area. The temperature got up to 101 degrees at one point. They advised us not to go outside to take pictures as the air conditioning could not keep up with the door being repeatedly opened.

 

For two days, we traveled the Canadian countryside in absolute comfort. The drink cart came down the aisle starting at 10:30 am -- and the "drinks" included every kind of non-alcoholic and alcoholic drink you can imagine. This was followed by the snack cart. A couple hours later, gourmet lunches were delivered to your seat based on your order earlier in the day. Of course, this required the "drink" cart to come by. The drink cart made its way down the aisle five times a day along with the snack cart (twice a day) and the dinner cart. They also included a dessert. We were treated very well.

As the elevation increased, so did the beauty of the surroundings. I'd need to post another 100 pictures to do it justice. 

At the end of Day 2 on the train, we ended our adventure at Lake Louise. Buses took us to our hotels. You can't imagine the amount of organization, as this train consisted of 23 cars and 700 passengers.

The next morning, Bill and I got up and took a bus up to Lake Louise. The lake lived up to its hype.

The next morning, we went by bus to the town of Banff in the province of Alberta, Canada. This was clearly the highlight of our trip. We stayed in the most incredible hotel (Rimrock) for two nights. 

In Banff, a full-day tour was scheduled.The highlights included a ride on a gondola to the top of Sulphur Mountain. There were several scheduled stops in the area, including lunch in a great local restaurant.

We took a one-hour boat ride on Lake Minnewanka.

On our final day in Canada, we were bussed to Calgary for our flight home. We enjoyed a great dinner out and rested up for our return trip. We were proud that, once again, we were able to rise to the challenge, and make it home with nothing but good memories. 

In the next post, I will provide a short health update. So click on Part II if you are interested in the nitty-gritty.

Kathy