"Dying or Going on Vacation . . . "

My Dad used to say of his sister, Margaret Ann, that every time he talked to her she was either dying or going on vacation.  I don't know if that was an original phrase with him or one that had been part of a lexicon of expressions that he had heard growing up. 

My brother, Tim, and I were discussing that phrase shortly before I left on my trip for Europe.  I was telling him that if I found out I had cancer (the curse of our family), I would immediately try to assess my odds.  If I felt that it was incurable, I would book a vacation immediately as I have no intention of extending my life with "treatments" that might give me a few more unbearable months.  I want to LIVE the life I've been given.



Tim holding Dad's motor

Not long after my return from Europe, Tim came by the house with the results of his CT scan.  It showed a "solid appearing mass" in his left kidney that "should be considered a malignant lesion until proven otherwise."  He referred to our earlier conversation and asked if I didn't find it ironic that the last time we had spoken, it was about whether or not I would "go on vacation" if I got a cancer diagnosis.

Well, we could definitely agree that we needed more information before we could decide whether to schedule a vacation.  Thankfully, with everyone's prayers, support and concern behind him, Tim got the best possible news.  Additional tests verified that his lungs were clear and the "hot spots" in his back were arthritis -- what Tim calls the "Jones back."  His kidney was removed yesterday and, at this point, his surgeon doesn't think he will even need chemo.  The tumor appeared to be pretty intact.

Coincidentally, Steve Jobs (founder of Apple) died yesterday at the age of 56. You can't log on today without reading quotes from a commencement address he gave at Stanford in 2005.  The predominate theme seems to be one of encouraging each of us to identify what is important to us in our lives and go about achieving our dream -- not that of someone else.  Jobs, who had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, confronts his immortality head on.  It gives him focus.  One of my favorite quotes is this one:  "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life."

So I'm happy to report that Tim does not have to decide between dying and going on vacation -- at least not yet.  I know all of us have felt the love and support of everyone during this difficult time -- and Dad and Mom -- I certainly felt you.

Margaret Ann Jones and Anthony Scardina

Margaret Ann, the youngest of five children, was born on January 22, 1928.  She had to be a very welcome surprise.  Norine was 43 years old when she Margaret Ann arrived on the scene.  There was a gap of eight years between my Dad and his younger sister.  It is no wonder that she was treated like a princess.

When the cousins got together, Rose told us that until she came along, Margaret Ann was always dressed in either blue or white because she was "dedicated to the Blessed Virgin".  After Rosemary was born five years later, Margaret Ann was suddenly allowed to wear red.  The picture on the right is Margaret Ann as a flower girl in her big sister, Edith's, wedding.  I love her curly hair!

Margaret Ann was the apple of her father's eye.  Apparently, Margaret Ann was so used to being treated as a princess that as the flood waters were coming up and the rest of the family was trying to move items to the second floor, Margaret Ann had to be asked if she thought she could help.  I recently "extracted" this fuzzy picture from a video shot in 1957 -- the sentiment is clear even if the picture is not.

Margaret Ann was the beauty of the East End -- no doubt about it.  I'll have to find out from her children what the occasion was for this picture.

She caught the eye of the East End "hunk", Tony. (Note to Scardinas:  I know you've got some great pics of your Dad.  Send them to me so I can replace this one).


Several years ago my brother, Tim, was working with a company that was taking down homes that had suffered severely from yet another Ohio River flood.  The people of the East End are not exactly welcoming to "outsiders".  One of the neighbors was giving Tim a hard time until he found out that Tim's father grew up on Eastern Ave.  As they continued the conversation, Tim was surprised to find out that the house they were taking down was the boyhood home of Tony Scardina.

 

I recognize the three Brevings in this wedding picture, but I will wait for the Scardinas to help me identify all members of the wedding party.  What a handsome couple they made!

Tony worked as a delivery man for Ruebel's delivering bread to local stores and delis. Sue reminded me that he was also an avid golfer getting four hole-in-ones.  But most importantly, Tony was the father of five beautiful children.

 

Starting with Jeanne on the left and moving in a clockwise direction, Patty, Susan, Tony and Nan are pictured.

Patty loves to tell the story that whenever they visited "my branch" of the family, her mother would make us out to be the "perfect" family with everyone washing and drying the dishes, etc. without complaint.  We were always held up to them as the "model".  

As a member of that branch, however, I can tell you for sure that there is nothing like the Scardinas.  When Margaret Ann was on her own, blind, and needing assistance from her children, I was impressed to find out that all five kids took responsibility for her daily care by way of a schedule they would FAX to each other.  You can't be around the Scardinas without laughing.  They are a joyous bunch, filled with stories and a unique view of catering to their mother as they grew up (thinking that was the norm).  I'm so happy that social networks like facebook are now available making it possible for all of us to "reconnect".

I hope that this post is the beginning of the conversation about the Scardina branch of the Jones family.  For now, let me leave you with a picture of Margaret Ann in 1957 holding her newest pride and joy -- Nan.

The "Perfect Family" minus one

I love this picture. Rosemary Kramer let me copy it. She told me that it was taken shortly after my Dad, Johnny was born and they "thought" their family was complete. Pictured from left to right are: Fred (boy, is he handsome!), the "baby" Johnny, the big sister, Edith, big brother, Charley, youngest brother, Bob, and Norine. Little did they know at the time that their family would be completed with the birth of Margaret Ann years later. What a beautiful family!

The family was living on Eastern Ave., across from Highland Elementary and down the street from the beloved St. Rose Church.

The picture of the house was taken in 2001. When Jan and Pop owned it, it was painted bus company yellow as Rosemary would say. You can refer back to the blog on Pop with the buses to see that color.

Fred and Norine became the parents of five children:

Edith was born June 14, 1910
Charles Frederick was born July 4, 1911
Robert Leo was born July 15, 1918
John Thomas was born September 30, 1920
Margaret Ann was born January 22, 1928

After seven years, it is no wonder that Fred and Norine thought they had the perfect, and complete, family. From what I've heard, however, Margaret Ann was a delightful and cherished addition to the family. I'll have to let the Scardinas fill in the blanks about that when we get to the next generation.

The Scardinas let me copy this picture of their mother, Margaret Ann, the small child in the middle of the picture. It was taken in 1929 when Margaret Ann was two. I'm told she is surrounded by other East End friends. Note the river to the right and St. Rose Church in the background to the left. Love those nickers . . .

Alwilda, Alwilda

So what do we know about Alwilda (Pop's stepmother)? When I first started on this family research journey, I contacted Patty Scardina Volz. I had been to the Walnut Hills Cemetery and located Charles and Alwilda's graves. She asked me if I spit on Alwilda's grave while I was there. She said that Pop had always told Margaret Ann to spit on Alwilda's grave if she ever went to visit. Margaret Ann apparently repeated this instruction to her children. So is it a fair characterization to say she fit the description of the "wicked stepmother"?

Here's the evidence:

• As I mentioned in the previous post, here is what Lillian's letter had to say: "His second wife was not a good mother to her children, mother said. . . the children needed Rachel's guidance. Had she lived she would have insisted on a good education for Fred, Leo and Edith."



• When Charles remarried on December 24, 1898 (a respectful six years after Rachel's death), he married a woman 16 years his junior. She was 32 years old when she married.



• My mother's notes say that "Pop", my grandfather, swam out into the river and "got a job on a boat as a cabin boy". I recall hearing that he did this when he was about 13. He would have been 14 when his dad remarried.



• When Alwilda died in 1937 at the age of 71, her Death Notice referred to her husband, brother and sister. No mention was made of her stepchildren. She died of a cardiac embolism with arteriosclerosis and uterine cancer being contributory causes.



• But by far the best evidence of how "Pop" felt about his stepmother is this picture.

Patty Volz is in possession of the original. We don't have any pictures of Alwilda and for good reason. Pop cut Alwilda out of the picture where she posed with his father. You can clearly see where he made the cut. I think this sums up his feelings. I also find it interesting that no survivor saw fit to pay to have her death date engraved into her grave marker. The poor woman was probably spared a lot of heartache as she died about the time of the '37 flood.

A Tribute to Lillian

When I first became interested in the history of the Joneses and my German and Irish lines, I had a couple of things going for me. First of all, my mother gave me a folder of family information she had collected over the years. A lot of her notes were the result of conversations she had had with Margaret Ann Scardina, my Dad's sister. (A few years back, Patty and I compared notes and found out that she had the same record -- her mother must have shared the information with mine). In the folder was a copy of a letter from Lillian Mears to Edith Breving.

As I was new to all of this, I called Rosemary Kramer and asked her to explain what she knew about the letter. Much to my surprise Rosemary told me all about Lillian, who was our grandfather's first cousin. She told me she lived in Harrison and was about 95 years old.

I called Lillian and despite macular degeneration and being somewhat frail, she invited Patty Volz and me to lunch at the home she shared with her daughter in Harrison, Ohio. She could practically quote all of the details in the letter, which had been written in 1978.

With a name like Jones, you need all of the clues you can get, and Lillian had a lot of them. Lillian was a retired school teacher who had graduated from Miami University. She had great stories about the lengths her parents went to to fund her education -- now I wish I had written them down. A lot of the things in her letter have now been documented. There were a few inaccuracies, but they were largely based on the recollections of her mother whose father (Alexander) died when she was only two years old.

As I write this history as I know it, I will often include quotes from her letter. Thank goodness that Edith Jones Breving asked Lillian to write down what she knew and my mother was given a copy. When Patty and I visited her she also gave us a photocopy of the Jones Family in 1916. Despite it's poor quality, it's one of my favorite items.

This picture was taken at Lillian's home in Harrison in 1916. The adults from left to right were:

John Lewis Amiss (husband of Elizabeth Jones Amiss)

Elizabeth Jones Amiss (daughter of Alexander and Elizabeth)

Leo Jones

Melissa Jones (wife of Leo)

Tom Jones

Norine Jones (wife of Charles Fred - our grandfather)

Ella Jones (wife of Tom)

Margaret Jones (wife of Harley)

Fred Jones (our grandfather)

Harley Jones

The children from left to right were:

Lillian Amiss Mears - daughter of John and Elizabeth

Edith Jones Breving - my aunt

Charles Jones - my uncle

Irma Jones - daughter of Margaret and Harley Jones

At least I had the good sense to have Lillian identify the people in the picture.

Lillian died just short of the age of 100 after suffering a fall in her home. She, too, is buried at New Haven Cemetery near Harrison.

More pictures from the luncheon:

Lillian, Patty Volz and Laura (Lillian's daughter)

Back Row:

Laura, Rosemary, Sue, Jeanne,

Front Row:

Patty, Lillian, Nan

Bottom Row: Kathy and Sue's son Spencer