I was teaching 5th and 6th graders science at Bond Hill School. I invited all of my students to attend the wedding -- though not the reception. My husband to-be and I had rented our first apartment and I looked forward to moving from my family home and living on my own. Things were so exciting!
My fiancee and I went to his efficiency apartment to pack up his things and move them to his new place. As we continued to pack, I sensed some reluctance on his part. He seemed to be dragging his feet. I finally stopped to ask him if there was a problem, and it became clear that he had cold feet. I let him know that I didn't want to get married if he truly had concerns. He did.
Now we had to tell my parents. We got into the car and drove the couple of short miles to my house to give them the news. Less than a mile from home, a car pulled out of a side street and T-boned us. Great. Could this day get any worse?
It was June 28th when we called it off -- one week from the wedding. My parents were incredibly understanding. After we all got over the shock of it, my Dad just asked me to assure him that this meant that we were "over" and would never be marrying. (A promise I did not keep -- but that's another story).
It's a lot of work to call off a wedding. I had to contact the caterer, photographer, musicians, and all of the invitees. The ones that seemed to take it the hardest were my students, who could not possibly understand. I had to return wedding presents and buy bridesmaid dresses. Luckily for me, I was registered at Shillito's and they were able to give me a list of everything purchased through them. I just got out my check book and mailed checks for the majority of the presents. I was setting up housekeeping and needed many of the items I'd put on my list.
Do I look back with sadness? No. It's complicated as all such things are. I feel that it contributed to me becoming the strong woman that I am. You can't get strong without being tested.
With my Mom and Dad's blessing, we actually had a picnic at our house on the day we would have been married with my ex-fiancee and wedding party in attendance. I know it sounds crazy, but it was a good move.
The big news over the weekend was that Prince Albert II of Monaco finally got married at the age of 53 to Charlene Wittstock of South Africa. Rumors, yet unconfirmed, insist that the bride-to-be tried to leave a week before her wedding after it was revealed that her future husband may have fathered three children during his "batchelor" years. The Prince had already acknowledged two children from previous relationships, but apparently there may be a third. I hope Charlene does not regret marrying this playboy who only got married to produce a legitimate heir. She deserves more -- and I can tell you from experience, you can recover.
Note: My primary reason for writing this blog is to record our family history, as best I can, for my family. In this light, I do not want a grandchild, niece or nephew to "discover" this about me and wonder what happened. I'd rather tell them myself. There are some topics that are too personal or that I don't feel I have the right to share because they involve others who may or may not be happy about it being put out there. Over time, I hope to write up some of these things and leave them with my daughter. She can decide what to share after I'm gone.