Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Wedding That Was - April 2, 1976

 Wedding Day - April 2, 1976

In a previous post, I discussed the "wedding that wasn't."  My fiancee and I called off the wedding one week before it was to take place in July 1974.  He seemed to be remorseful from the beginning that we did not marry, even though he was the one with cold feet.  I promised my Dad that we would never get married -- I believed it when I said it. 

Over the next two years, however, my "ex" made a lot of changes in his life to convince me that he regretted the decision and wanted to get married.  There is so much I could say (but choose not to) because I believe that he is entitled to his privacy and may see things differently.  I'll just say that my large family had become his family and that he really cared about all of us. 

So nearly two years after calling off our wedding, it was on again.  This time it was very much scaled-down and happened within two months of our decision.  We still had unused contracts with the photographer, florist, etc. and just called and rescheduled.  The date was practically determined by my sister, Karen.  She was scheduled to be married on April 10th and knew that she would be moving permanently to Florida.  I wanted her in the wedding and she said it would be impossible to turn around and return to Cincinnati any time soon.  So she suggested we get married the week BEFORE her scheduled wedding. 

In hindsight, I think that was an incredibly gracious offer on her part.  I'm not sure to this day that I should have taken her up on it.  Since, of course, we share the same aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends, many people would feel obligated to attend two family weddings eight days apart.  It would have been one thing if her long-planned wedding was the first one, but in fact, it was the second. 

I remember being very happy on my wedding day.  There was a lot to admire about my "ex" that I found attractive.  I always had this feeling that we could create beautiful and intelligent children together -- and that we did.

Why we split is one of those things most appropriately discussed in another forum.  I believe that when we married, it was definitely the right thing to do at the time. When we decided to divorce 3 1/2 years later, people would comment that it was too bad that we had not realized it would not work before we had a child.  I'm sure that I can speak for both of us when I say that that is the one thing that neither of us regrets.

Things happen for a reason.  I'm a better person because of it.  And best of all -- I have a beautiful daughter as a result of it who has enriched my life.  What could be wrong with that?


  1. Gotta love my dad's jacket.

  2. You can tell this was the 1970's ;-) I'm glad you can look back on all of it in a positive way.

  3. 70's all the way -- Rian, you're Dad was stylin' in that jacket!

  4. Once we have that wonderful child, nothing can be regretted. Who would judge like that? Insensitive! I love the wedding picture. i was married in 1975 and boy was it a "hippie" wedding! My husband's hair was well past his ears -- short for the era!

  5. LOVE this photo...and thanks for sharing your story -- I have a similar one, and join you in the "no regrets" over wonderful children. I'm new to reading GeneaBloggers (hope to be included sometime soon;) and have enjoyed the variety and scope of my favorites in life -- family, photos and genealogy...

  6. I'm slowly catching up on my back reading. This is why I keep working back - such a wonderful post, Kathy.


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